Friday, December 9, 2016

PP Hair Loss and Other Glamorous Things

Ah--the joys of new motherhood. From bleeding that lasts a month to newfound bathroom issues (girls, you know what I mean), sobbing over commercials on TV while your boobs leak, and trying to make sense of what is happening with your abs, there are many things no one could adequately prepare you for. Post-partum hair loss is one of those things. Even if someone (or lots of someones) already warned you about this, there is something deeply disturbing about shampooing your hair and having a giant clump of long hair fall out in your hand. 

Let's talk post-partum hair loss for a moment, shall we? 

Most women experience this phenomenon, but it's sneaky. It comes later than all the other weird things, when you're just starting to feel "normal-ish" again. Your boobs are figuring their thing out. Your baby (not mine) might actually be sleeping a little at night. You might be able to poop without crying. Maybe even daily. And just when you thought you were getting your mojo back, BOOM! Your hair starts falling out. Not a little bit. Like half of all of your hair. In clumps. In your brushes. On your floors. In your shower. Your family think it's gross. Everyone complains about the crazy amount of hair that's on every surface of your living space. And there you are crying, while your boobs leak with your weird, half-bald head.

I went through it this time knowing (never underestimate second-time-mom cockiness), and still it was weird and terrible. And just when I started to look like I got a cool side-shave thing on one side (I didn't), my hair decided to stop the mass exodus and grow back. So now I have an all-over layer of 1/4 inch length hairs (primarily visible in the front) that look like spikes to contrast my shoulder length 'do. 

Maybe this is why "mom hair" is a thing?