I had a weird childhood. I was homeschooled until I was 10, then attended rigidly religious private school until my sophmore year of college. In that time I went from socially awkward to rebel to homebody. And somehow along the way I made friends with a whole subset of upper middle class neo hippies. I love my friends and their vegan diets, public displays of bare feet, half-baked political views and jam band tendancies. What I love most about them is their idea of love and money and freedom. The fact that most of them went to college to obtain degrees they will shelve in favor of hawking homemade jewelry, working at essential oil stores, or making scarves. They could make money doing something boring but they opt for enough to pay the rent with spare change for pot and miller high life in order to hold on to their freedom. It's super admirable and sometimes I wish I had just a little bit more of that hippie spirit.
But you know what? While I love that philosophy in theory, I struggle to let go completely. I can't help it. When I dream of the perfect life, I dream of simplicity, of the ocean, tall grass and wildflowers and laughing with my child. But I usually have shoes on. And the soundtrack is more hipster than hippie. And while I love the thought of not caring about money, it totally stresses me out if I can't pay my bills.
Is there a way for me to find beauty an happiness and peace in moderation? Can I keep one foot in the office and the other on the stage?