So first off you should know that I never fancied myself as someone who would have a blog. And yet, the more I explore the exciting new world of mommyhood, the more I find myself drawn to, even captivated by the blogs of other like-minded chicas. I find myself feeling connected to amazing women I've never met, and suddenly I'm inspired to cast my thoughts out into the vast reaches if only to feel like my voice is blending with theirs.
Here goes: I'm 28 and I just gave birth 6 weeks ago to my first (and likely only) child. I'm still in a daze about the whole thing and it still takes me about 3 hours to prep for a 45 minute trip to the store with baby Everleigh. We're both figuring it out as we go. Though I am many things, right now I feel like "mommy" is my #1 function. I guess one of my biggets fears is that I will get so caught up in diapers and breastfeeding and the like that I will lose my own sense of uniqueness. When I reflect on my own mother, it's hard to describe what's she's really like without simply describing her career or her role as a mother. I truly never got a sense of who she was when she wasn't being "mom". What does she like? What are her fears? What does she think about for goodness sake? This scares me. Maybe she was really cool once. Maybe not. I've seen old pictures where she looked like a flower child, though she wouldn't indulge me when I asked her about it. I may never know who this woman really is, because it seems that she shed the "me" hat when she became a mom.
Now, I'm trying to figure out how to be the kind of mom I want to be, which I strongly believe is best accomplished if I am able to be completely me instead of generic-mom. This blog is my exploration of myself.