Last night I was having one of those nights where you feel overwhelmed by it all--the job, the baby who won't sleep, the bills, the homework, the housework. Feeling tired and lumpy and just plain mad about a zit that decided to be my cherry on top of the already crappy day.
In preparation for our move, I've been cleaning out closets, and I had a bunch of Ev's hand-me-downs to pass on to a friend, so I called her up. And you know what? Even though I miss my friends so much, it was hard for me to go. Ev was fussing in the car, and I just felt...ugly and worn out and so unlike my old self. I considered canceling because frankly, I just wasn't good company. But instead I went. I looked at baby clothes with my friend, talked about how our daughters will be friends one day and how awesome that is, spilled my guts about the bad ways I was feeling and the ways I want to be different.
And then something magical happened. She understood. When my eyes welled up, hers did too. I wasn't alone anymore. She got it. She got me. And she didn't care that I was in a slump or that I had a zit or any of it. I felt heard and validated and encouraged and refreshed. and also reminded that we, as moms, are chronic multitaskers. We give and give and do for others and, while it's cliche, we often put ourselves last. Which is good and bad. We get disconnected--first from the freewheeling friends of our early 20's with their happy hours and midnight concerts, then from equally busy mom-friends, and then from ourselves. Isolation leads to more isolation.
But leaving there last night, I felt so much healthier than when I arrived. Stimulated intellectually and challenged to exercise more, meditate daily, care for myself, and never forget the importance of staying connected.